20 Real Truths About Liveaboard Life — From a Sailing Family of 3

Three years ago we left with a dream, a carefully chosen boat, a 9-year-old, and a beagle who was already more sailor than most people we know. Over 10,000 nautical miles later — through the Bahamas, the USVI, the BVI, and beyond — we've learned a lot. Some of it we expected. Some we didn't.

I recently came across a post about things people wish they'd known before living aboard full-time and it got me thinking. A lot of it rang true. But after three years of living this life with a kid, a dog who has sea legs to prove it, and a partner who can fix literally anything, I have my own list to add.

This isn't a glamour reel. It's the real stuff — the things that surprised us, humbled us, and ultimately made us fall even harder for this life. If you're dreaming about cutting the dock lines, read this first.

1. Make a Plan Before You Make the Decision

This one is not on most lists but we think it's the most important. Living aboard full-time is not something you decide on a whim. We researched for years, did our time on smaller boats, and spent a long time choosing the right vessel. Everyone wants a catamaran — maybe we will too one day — but we found our perfect match in Bogumila, our Hunter 45DS, and we don't regret it for a second. Know your budget, your route, your timeline. Dream big but plan smart.

2. Love Your Boat — Choose Carefully

Your boat is not just a vehicle. It's your home, your safe harbor, your everything. You will spend every hour on it, sleep on it, fix it, stress over it, and fall in love with it all over again when the sun sets over the anchorage. We took our time choosing Bogumila and we are glad we did. She is cozy, homey, and feels like us. Don't rush this decision and don't just follow the crowd. Everyone dreams of a catamaran but the right boat is the one that works for your family, your budget, and your life. When you find it you will know.

3. A Comfortable Bed is Non-Negotiable

Nobody talks about this one enough. When you are on passage, anchored in a rolly bay, or waiting out a storm, your bed is your sanctuary. A bad berth will wear you down faster than any rough weather. We made sure our sleeping situation was dialed in from the start and it makes a huge difference. You need to be able to recharge properly — your safety, your mood, and your relationship depend on it. Don't compromise on this one.

4. Boats Break — All the Time

We knew this going in but nothing quite prepares you for the reality. Boats don't wait for a convenient moment to fall apart. They break when you are about to make a passage, when you are in a remote anchorage, when the part you need is sitting in a warehouse in the US waiting to clear customs. We learned this the hard way when our transmission and windlass both failed at the same time in the BVI, turning a planned passage to St. Martin into weeks of waiting. Stock spares, learn your boat, and if you are lucky have a Tony on board — someone who can fix literally anything. We do and we don't know what we would do without him.

5. Weather Always Rules

You think you are free when you leave the dock. And you are — but your new boss is the weather. Every decision, every passage, every plan depends on the forecast. Want to head south? The wind might not agree. Found a perfect anchorage? A swell might make it untenable overnight. We have missed weather windows, waited out storms, and changed our plans more times than we can count. The sooner you make peace with this the happier you will be. The ocean is in charge. You just live here.

6. Chores Require a Whole Day of Planning

On land you throw a load of laundry in before breakfast and forget about it. On a boat everything requires planning, a dinghy ride, and usually more time than you expected. We did eventually invest in a washing machine on board — game changer — but even with that, provisioning for a passage, taking out the trash, or tracking down a specific boat part can easily eat a whole day. We have learned to embrace the slower pace rather than fight it. Build your chore days into your schedule and don't try to rush them — it never works.

7. Bad Weather Brings You Together

Most people warn you that being stuck on a boat in bad weather will drive you crazy. For us it's the opposite. When the weather keeps us on board we make pizza, watch movies, play games, and actually talk to each other. No distractions, no errands, nowhere to be. Some of our best family moments have happened on stormy days at anchor. The boat forces a kind of togetherness that is hard to find in land life and honestly we love it. Just make sure you have good snacks and a solid movie collection.

8. Even in Bad Weather the Dog Needs a Walk

Here is something nobody puts on their liveaboard list. You can wait out a squall, delay a passage, and cancel all your plans — but Bolt doesn't care. Rain, wind, choppy dinghy ride to shore, he needs his walk and he will let you know. Sailing with a dog is hard — really hard. The logistics, the shore runs, the port clearances, finding pet friendly anchorages — it adds a whole layer to this life that nobody warns you about. But we got lucky. Bolt is one of a kind. He has been on boats his whole life, has better sea legs than some sailors we know, and honestly we cannot imagine doing this without him. If you are thinking about bringing a dog aboard go in with your eyes open — and hope you get a Bolt.

9. Seasickness Gets Better — But Never Underestimate It

We have gotten much better with seasickness over the years. When you are constantly moving your body adapts and finds its rhythm. But stay in one place too long and you have to earn your sea legs back all over again. And certain conditions — a crossed swell, light wind chop, a rough night passage — can catch anyone off guard no matter how experienced you are. Always have remedies on board. Never assume you are immune. The ocean has a way of humbling you just when you think you have it figured out.

10. You Will Miss Your Family

The cruising community is incredible and becomes your family on the water. But nothing replaces the people you left behind on land. We don't miss our old routine or the daily grind but we do miss being able to jump in the car and go see our family. Sophia misses her grandparents, her aunts and uncles, those spontaneous visits and Sunday dinners that you don't realize you will miss until they are gone. A hug when you need one, watching cousins grow up together — those are the things that tug at your heart when you are anchored in paradise. Video calls help but they are not the same. This life is worth it but that particular sacrifice is real and we feel it.

11. The Sundowner Culture is Real — Be Aware

There is a beautiful tradition in cruising called sundowners — a drink in the cockpit as the sun goes down over the anchorage. And honestly the sunsets out here make it very tempting every single night. The cruising culture around drinks is real and it sneaks up on you. We are not big drinkers but we noticed the pattern and made a conscious choice to keep it in check. Enjoy the sunsets, enjoy the community, enjoy the occasional sundowner — just be aware of the habit that can form without you even noticing. Paradise has its temptations.

12. Boat Life Tightens Your Family Circle

People often ask us if living together full time is hard. We are lucky — Bogumila is a spacious 45 footer and we have our own corners to retreat to. But even with the space, boat life has a way of bringing you closer. There is no commute, no rushing in different directions, no distracted evenings in front of separate screens. We communicate more, rely on each other more, and have learned things about ourselves and each other that years of land life never revealed. Sophia has grown into a confident, curious, resilient kid who sees the world differently than most. Tony and I have become a true team. The boat strips everything back to what matters — each other. We wouldn't trade that for anything.

13. Passages Require a Sleep System

One of the biggest adjustments of offshore sailing is learning to sleep on passage. It doesn't come naturally at first. The boat is moving, the sounds are unfamiliar, and your brain stays on alert even when your body is exhausted. We figured out a shift system that works for us — Tony and I take turns on watch while the other rests. Sometimes I nap right in the cockpit just to keep him company. One trick that really helps? Headphones. Music or a podcast can quiet your mind enough to actually drift off even when the boat is moving. It took time but we found our rhythm. Don't expect to sleep like a baby on your first passage. Give yourself grace and give yourself time.

14. Staying Fit Looks Different Out Here

You would think living on the water, swimming, diving, and constantly moving would keep you in peak shape. And in some ways it does. But here is the surprising truth — we are active every single day and still not exactly fitness models. We eat well, we eat healthy, and we also believe you only live once. The ocean gives you so many ways to move your body — we dive, freedive, snorkel, paddle our Sunchill — but it also gives you the most incredible sunsets to enjoy with a good meal around the table. Our advice? Move your body in ways you love, nourish it well, and like yourself. Life is too short for anything else.

15. There is Always Something to Worry About

You leave a lot of worries behind when you cut the dock lines. No traffic, no office politics, no mortgage. But don't think for a second that boat life is worry free. You trade one set of concerns for another. Will the anchor hold tonight? Why is the engine making that sound? Is that weather system going to affect our passage? When will that part arrive from the US? Is Sophia keeping up with her education? We take worldschooling seriously and making sure she is learning and thriving is always on our minds. The worries are different out here but they are real and they are constant. The difference is they feel more immediate, more solvable, and more in your hands. You are responsible for your own safety and your family out here and that is both terrifying and empowering.

16. Every Boat Project Makes a Huge Mess

There is no such thing as a quick fix on a boat. Every project, no matter how small, requires taking something apart, moving everything around it, and creating a mess that takes over half the boat. Need to get to the engine? First move everything stored around it. Fixing the windlass? Suddenly the entire foredeck is covered in parts. We lived through a transmission and windlass failure at the same time in the BVI and for two weeks our boat looked like a complete disaster zone. Tony is a magician but even magicians need space to work. Budget time, budget patience, and accept that the mess is part of the process.

17. You Need a Purpose

This one surprised us. You would think that sailing to beautiful places every day would be enough. And it is — for a while. But humans need purpose beyond the view. Tony has his work which keeps him grounded and focused. I am still figuring out my path, building SVBogumila, writing, creating content, contributing to NoForeignLand, and looking for ways to turn this passion into something sustainable. It is a work in progress and some days are harder than others. Whatever your purpose is — a blog, a business, a creative project, learning a new skill — bring it with you. The sunsets are better when you have something meaningful to come back to.

18. Zero Privacy — But You Adapt

On a boat there is no such thing as privacy. The walls are thin, the spaces are shared, and everyone knows everyone's business including Bolt who will simply push any closed door open if he feels you have been in there long enough. With a 12 year old on board this gets creative. Sophia has her own space on Bogumila and fills it with her own world — lately that includes teaching herself guitar. We respect each other's need for alone time and you develop a kind of unspoken rhythm — when to give each other space, when to come together. It is different from land life but you adapt faster than you think. And honestly the togetherness becomes something you cherish rather than escape.

19. Toys Make Everything Better

If you have space on your boat for toys bring them all. We have diving gear, freediving equipment, snorkeling gear, and recently added a Sunchill to the mix and we use everything constantly. Toys get you off the boat, into the water, and exploring every anchorage in a way you never would from the cockpit. They keep Sophia active and entertained, they help us meet neighbors, and they turn a regular afternoon at anchor into an adventure. The ocean is your playground — make sure you have the right equipment to enjoy it fully.

20. Once You Get a Taste of This Life You Will Never Want to Go Back

Once you get a taste of this life you will never want to go back. The freedom, the sunsets, the community, the adventures, the growth — it gets into your blood. Not once have we looked back. The challenges are real, the sacrifices are real, but so is the joy. Every morning we wake up to the sound of water and we know we are exactly where we are supposed to be. If you are on the fence, take the leap. You won't regret it.